Tuesday, January 29, 2013

On the Verge

Did you ever feel as if you were on the verge of something wonderful happening but you were afraid to open the door and take the leap? I feel like that. I told my youngest (adult) son that I thought 2013 was going to be THE year for me. Great things were going to happen. Things that I have been holding my breath for ages for were finally going to take place. Do you feel that way?

I'm dying to start painting again... something different.... abstract art... maybe abstract art with a familiar folk art design here and there... I don't know. I just want to clear out a space for my easel and start painting... filling up a canvas or two or three... I want to see where it takes me and if it takes me somewhere unknown... well, then, I'll just have to learn as I go and find my way around!

{Yes, this is my pitiful collection of Golden Paints. I really need to stock up on more soon.}

I am sad that I was somewhat comfortable with where I was in my handmade art for so many years. I think of how far I could have come in the last 10 or 15 years if I hadn't been afraid to open that door or to take that leap. What would have happened if I had returned some of the messages from well-known companies? I didn't have faith in myself. I thought I'd fail. I thought because I was self-taught and didn't have formal training or go to college that I wasn't good enough. I thought I'd look like a country bumpkin among all the artsy, city girls --- no offense to the artsy, city girls... I love you and your style and your fearlessness! Here I am, a 45-year-old woman, and still feel intimidated by the "in" crowd. I still feel like the shy, backward girl in grade school that was afraid to speak out loud in class, who hoped and prayed the teacher would never, ever call on her. I still feel like the high-school girl that felt as if people were making fun of her or laughing at her because nearly everything she wore was out of style hand-me-downs or because she was a preacher's girl or because she came from the little grade school near the end of the county or because she usually didn't have the money to do all the after school things the others did. Don't mistake what I'm saying. I loved my childhood and loved my family and really didn't realize most days that we had much less (materially speaking). And I had some very good girlfriends in school. We weren't the popular ones but we were very popular amongst ourselves! :) But sometimes I desperately wanted to fit in but just couldn't quite make it work. Maybe it's because deep down I didn't want to be like all the others? Maybe that was the "artist" in me wanting to come out! ;)

Now, back to not wasting any more time... I have decided if I want to win the lottery, I have to buy a ticket! I don't play the lottery but you get the idea! I recently bought the premiere issue of Where Women Create Business and have been inspired to continue with my dreams and to take it seriously as a business. I have been reading blogs of women artists that were not afraid to reach for what was in their heart and soul. I have been writing dreams and plans in my notebooks and vow to work towards making them come true.

I don't know how far I'll get in 2013, but I'll be on my way. I feel that it's going to be a great year, not just with my art and business, but with many other aspects of my life, too.

Is there something you want to accomplish in 2013? Please share it in the comments and please leave a word of encouragement for those willing to share. Perhaps we can check back in 2014 and see how everyone's doing.

Thank you so much for stopping by...
Take care and God bless,


  1. Lana,
    I resonate with your post. I was not in the "in crowd" in high school. I was a painter. I won 2nd place in the Fort Worth Star Telegram High School Artist contest. I won a full scholarship to Texas Wesleyan University based upon my paintings. My parents thought my paintings were just gibberish. I chose instead to go to University of North Texas and have my parents pay the way - just so I could room with my BFF. I ended up going home after my freshman year to live with my Dad and work and go to Community College at night. I married at 19,and finally got my BFA (a 5 year program that i completed in 2.5 years) in 1997 - a full ten years after graduation. I worked in Corporate Sales for over 3 years until hubby and I decided it would be best if I stayed home with our kids. Now, after 24 years of marriage, and raising my kids at home for the last 14 years, I would not change it for the world. I still have doubts, I still wonder where I might have been, what I could have been. I have made many mistakes along the way, but they have all led me to where I am. I love my life, I love my husband, and I love my kids. I do still however wonder where I would be today had I chose another path. My advice to you is to paint. Paint every day. Paint with abandon, paint from your soul, paint as if today is your last day. Know that we will all be better because of your paintings.

    1. Steph, thank you so much for sharing your story! As long as I've known you I have been amazed at what an awesome artist, mom and wife you are! I, too, wouldn't change anything. I am just going to work on being more sensitive to opportunities that God may put in my path... and hopefully make the right choices. :)

  2. Hi Lana! I have to comment here ~ I just loved your post today ~
    I have the 'feeling' that you & I are ready for anything this year! I know I can feel it in my heart, soul & bones...I am following my muse ~ seeing where she can take me. ~ I know you will be successful is all that you do ~ look what you have accomplished already!!! You are beautiful , smart, & talented...you are humble and worthy of every. good. thing.
    take flight, my friend ~ see where you land !!!
    Blessed be ~

    1. Lori, thank you for joining in and for being so encouraging! I have admired you for so many years. Your art is fantastic and so inspiring! Let's keep in touch and see what's going on in our lives, ok? I am excited to see where you go this year, too!

  3. Lana, I've felt the same stirrings to make some changes, go after some dreams. I'm 56, raised in my grandparents home, and grandpa was a minister, so I understand some of where you're coming from. I'm so happy you're stretching yourself now, and I look forward to seeing where you take your art. What an awesome year this will be!

    1. Nita Jo, Thank you for writing and for the encouragement! It is sometimes hard to step out of our comfort zones, but I say go for it! See what you can check off your "to dream" list this year. I'll be cheering for you! :)

  4. Replies
    1. Thank you, Debra! I can always depend on you to visit and leave an encouraging word. You are a wonderful folk artist! I love your birds! :)

  5. You go girl and don't let anyone stop you from following your heart. so much of what you said is my life too. and I remember passing up a chance to be in a well known gallery in Durango way back in 80's. I always wonder where I would be right now art wise if I hadn't been afraid of failure. But I am here now hear me roar. I am painting and selling all over the world. My photography is hanging is some amazing places I've never even heard of before. I love the idea of 2013 being FANTASTIC all the way around for everyone. after all we all made it through 2012 and that was a resting place for many, but now the world is our oyster and my honey bought me pearls for my birthday last week.
    can't wait to see your art, love the colors already. I know too that you are having so much fun, but please be careful with the paint on your skin. It has strong chemicals that we absorb without even knowing it. Even watercolors my art professor warned me about. You can buy this artgaurd stuff at the art store and it puts a protective layer against the bad stuff and feels good too, like lanolin.
    please post your art,
    peace n abundance,

    1. CheyAnne, Thank you for stopping by and sharing! I just love your watercolors... and your blog posts about all the wildlife around you! How wonderful that you are sending your art off to so many places! We can't change the past, but we can sure work on making the future the best it can be! Keep in touch and let me know how things are for you :)

    2. Oh, and thank you for the tip about the paint. I didn't know there was something to put on our hands. I'll look for that next time! :)