On the Verge

Did you ever feel as if you were on the verge of something wonderful happening but you were afraid to open the door and take the leap? I feel like that. I told my youngest (adult) son that I thought 2013 was going to be THE year for me. Great things were going to happen. Things that I have been holding my breath for ages for were finally going to take place. Do you feel that way?

I'm dying to start painting again... something different.... abstract art... maybe abstract art with a familiar folk art design here and there... I don't know. I just want to clear out a space for my easel and start painting... filling up a canvas or two or three... I want to see where it takes me and if it takes me somewhere unknown... well, then, I'll just have to learn as I go and find my way around!

{Yes, this is my pitiful collection of Golden Paints. I really need to stock up on more soon.}

I am sad that I was somewhat comfortable with where I was in my handmade art for so many years. I think of how far I could have come in the last 10 or 15 years if I hadn't been afraid to open that door or to take that leap. What would have happened if I had returned some of the messages from well-known companies? I didn't have faith in myself. I thought I'd fail. I thought because I was self-taught and didn't have formal training or go to college that I wasn't good enough. I thought I'd look like a country bumpkin among all the artsy, city girls --- no offense to the artsy, city girls... I love you and your style and your fearlessness! Here I am, a 45-year-old woman, and still feel intimidated by the "in" crowd. I still feel like the shy, backward girl in grade school that was afraid to speak out loud in class, who hoped and prayed the teacher would never, ever call on her. I still feel like the high-school girl that felt as if people were making fun of her or laughing at her because nearly everything she wore was out of style hand-me-downs or because she was a preacher's girl or because she came from the little grade school near the end of the county or because she usually didn't have the money to do all the after school things the others did. Don't mistake what I'm saying. I loved my childhood and loved my family and really didn't realize most days that we had much less (materially speaking). And I had some very good girlfriends in school. We weren't the popular ones but we were very popular amongst ourselves! :) But sometimes I desperately wanted to fit in but just couldn't quite make it work. Maybe it's because deep down I didn't want to be like all the others? Maybe that was the "artist" in me wanting to come out! ;)

Now, back to not wasting any more time... I have decided if I want to win the lottery, I have to buy a ticket! I don't play the lottery but you get the idea! I recently bought the premiere issue of Where Women Create Business and have been inspired to continue with my dreams and to take it seriously as a business. I have been reading blogs of women artists that were not afraid to reach for what was in their heart and soul. I have been writing dreams and plans in my notebooks and vow to work towards making them come true.

I don't know how far I'll get in 2013, but I'll be on my way. I feel that it's going to be a great year, not just with my art and business, but with many other aspects of my life, too.

Is there something you want to accomplish in 2013? Please share it in the comments and please leave a word of encouragement for those willing to share. Perhaps we can check back in 2014 and see how everyone's doing.

Thank you so much for stopping by...
Take care and God bless,
Lana
~*~